Friday, May 1, 2009 @6:34 PM
What was it about my previous post, that I said I survived, and will try my best.
I'm a hypocrite, for the very next day, right now, everything has changed.
Things I used to laugh at, shall never seem funny anymore.
I give up easily.
I have given up on trying.So many times, so many disasters, so many failures.Every setback, pushing me further behind in life.I don't know how to catch up, get back on track.Why should I try? To fail and hurt myself, hurt everyone once again? To disappoint them even though knowing their expectations of me? Why do I even promise people that I'll try, when for all I know, I might just exhale my last breath anytime? Why, when I know that there is a high possibility that I'll disappoint them? Why Jordan, why you fuck-tard.
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me just tell you, this isn't regarding my academics, even though its like shit too.Things happen for a reason, but the reasons I know not of.I bleed out in agony for that answer, just that one single answer that explains for everything.Yet to no avail.Blood continues trickling down, yet there's nothing I can do to stop the bleeding.I'm turning pale, I've snapped.Broken into many pieces just like a twig having been stepped on.I am like, a frail twig.I carry no meaning in this world, lying there motionlessly on the ground, and unfortunately enough, gets stepped on.I am, a burden to those out there.People have to sweep me away because I am ruining the beauty of my surroundings.Twigs should have legs, so they can walk away themselves.This time, I truly walk alone, along that ever-familiar dark alley of sorrow.My life now hangs on a thread, for I've just discovered something even worse, you guys will never want to know.This time, I'm keeping this problem, this situation to myself.For I think to myself of what happened when I told people about my initial situation.Nothing much, for I just increased the stress, the burden in them.So why care for my, my friends.Its not worth it, its wrong.Care for the others around you, and don't waste your energy on me.This time, I know what to do.I don't wanna put stress and burden my friends anymore.I'm keeping this to myself.silence 
