School's starting tmw.
A new lease of life.
Gonna be in a new environment, with new friends, teachers.
Time passes so fast, it seems.
There are mistakes in life, one makes, and realises can never be undone.
All the screwups, all of them, just like me.
I admit, I'm a screwup, and a total one at that.
People look at me, and they'll think what a miserable person this guy is.
I dont need anyone's pity.
I dont want people helping me out, just because they feel sympathetic for me, and wanna ameliorate the like I'm having.
Is this how people get care and concern?
That its because those around him feel pity for him, thats why extending help?
I dont want to be pitied.


Whatever you've done for me since day one, have been really alot.

I'm grateful, thankful, for your magnanimous act.

And I know you're doing it, not coz you pity me, but coz it truely comes straight from your heart.

And I say, thanks.


Too many things have happened and I've more or less become what I used to be.
I dont know how to tackle barriers anymore.
I'm at a loss when something wrong happens, and I'm afraid that whatever I do, the slightest mistake, would set off a disaster.
Perhaps

I'm

the disaster.

A disaster to many, to myself, to you.
I'm really sorry for the many many wrongs I've committed.
Sometimes I wish my vision would just blur, my legs lose their strength, and I would just fall to the ground, lifeless.
And in my mind, I would be saying my silent 'goodbyes' to my family, friends and all.
Sometimes I really cant take it, and I do stuff and try my best to vent whatever emotions I'm feeling, away.
But most of the times, you've been there, helping me with every step of the journey.


You are my silver lining.

You are my care and concern.

You are, love. Thanks, for you're here.





"C" is for Care, "L" is for Love, "A" is for Attitude, "I" is for I love you, "R" is for Rapture, "E" is for Enthralled.

jordan is too busy to blog.
this mysterious person shall keep it updated (:

k HAPPY CNY everybodyyyyyyyyyyy :D

jordan went visiting on the first day of new year.
jordan went to many places. jordan collected angpaos.
jordan woke up super early.
jordan won more than 12 bucks in '21'

jordan went to his uncle's on the second day of new year.
jordan went to a hugeeeeeeeeeHUGEEEEEEEEEEE house.
the house could store 7 cars in the front.
the house had an entertainment room with pool tables and such.
the house had around 5? storeys and a hugeeee garden.
jordan was in awe.
jordan loh-hei-ed in the festive atmosphere.
jordan went to his gramps.
jordan got bored.
jordan watched 'xin hua duo duo kai 2'
jordan went home.

see i'm sucha kind soul. (:
UPDATE LAH. haha.

xoxo!

Ohwell, its been awhile since I last blogged.

These days have been passing by really REALLY fast.

Like whoa, it seems like just yesterday that I got my results slip.

Anyway, most of my days so far have been spent at home, watching the tv, chatting online, etc etc.

TOTAL SLACK-NESS.

.

Sigh, missed out on God once again, but I'm determined to go this week

no matter what.

Spent the entire yesterday in town.

With Claire, we met up Cheng Howe at woodlands station and headed over to jtc to return our access cards and hand up the time sheets.

Had my breakfast at the canteen there, for what seemed like probably the last time I was gonna eat anything there for a long time.

Headed over to Wisma so that Claire could go get down her checklist on what she wanted to buy, and for Cheng to buy the shirt for his bro.

Then went over to FAMOUS AMOS to meet Gam who was waiting there for us.

Total mixture of chocolate and Body Shop scents there.

Headed over to Taka, Seoul Garden and met up with Claire's primary school friend, Syafiq, and the friends he brought along too.
Had lotsa fun cooking and eating, though Claire mostly just cooked and said she ate alot alr, AND complained that there wasnt any chocolate fondue. :D

Played 'zhou ji mi ma', and I was so fortunate to have lost at the first round, coz they only mixed ice cream with kimchi, and with tom yam soup and more kimchi soup.

Tasted quite nice actually. Not bad. No idea why everyone else couldnt take kimchi when both Cheng and me were like, 'whats wrong with kimchi?!'

Continued playing, and finally everyone else but Gam, Claire, and Norman (Syafiq's friend) had to take the horrid stuff.

Oh, and 2 of Syafiq's friends left halfway. Awww missed out on all the fun.

Syafiq and Norman had some kinda eating contest, and Norman beat him flat.

Like, a bowl of ice cream, Norman could finish it while Syafiq's still got 2 scoops left.

SUPER EATER!
Then Claire had another primary scool friend who was working at that seoul garden, and Norman and Syafiq kept taking food, then telling him to 'clear them' so they could bring it to the staff's quarters, or sth, to eat them. BROWNIES! :D

After everything, we bid our farewells and Gam, Cheng, Claire and me headed over to Orchard Plaza so Claire could try on her tailored dress.

Made her look super mature and demure man.

OHOH. On the way there, coz Claire was on the phone so she just kept walking along, the 3 of us guys were a little behind her.

We saw this staff who kept staring at Claire's body.

Like, EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Nothing to do after Claire tried on the dress, so we decided to head home.

Bounced train. Gam got off at Khatib, Cheng at Sembawang.

When we got down at woodlands and were walking towards cwp to walk around, we saw this blind guy who was tapping here and there.

He was like, about to knock into those potted plants outside Delifrance, so we stopped him and asked where he wanted to go.

We then both led him down to Four Leaves for him to buy his walnuts clover bread, then led him back up and all the way to the bus interchange.

Then told an uncle who was taking 913, same as the blind guy, to inform him when the bus arrived.

Was so happy, having done a good deed.

Yeap, and so was Claire.

Headed over to popular, where we checked out some books on the shelves and Claire decided to commit some of the stuff she found in origami and card books into memory so she could make them next time.

Then we found this book, '501 must-see movies'.

The book divided all the movies into categories. Horror, drama, musical, etc.

Both of us stood there and flipped through all the pages and checked out all 501 of them. :D

Decided there was nothing else to do, so we headed home.

Claire suggested taking the bus as she had blisters on her right foot, wearing new shoes.

After getting down, we walked awhile and Claire really seemed unable to walk, so sad!

So I piggybacked her for a distance till she demanded to be put down, didnt want my spine to break under her weight, haha.

Went home, and watched tv.

Parents came home with lotsa CNY stuff.

And my mom got me a book, 'words of encouragement for every new day'.

Every page represented each new day, and date, and each had an inspirational context, as well as parts of the Bible, included. Nice! :D

Ohwell, only managed to watch half of American Idol, coz my bro wanted to watch another show.

Slacked awhile more, and headed to bed.

Whoa, what I typed seems soooo long, but just like that, yesterday's over alr.

Waayyyyyyy too fast.

I want my life to slow down.

I DONT WANNA GROW UP SO FAST.

Turning 17 in less than a month's time.

Perhaps I'll turn more mature, I dont know.

But I just hope that I'll be able to make better decisions and be more responsible.





I'm really happy.

I'm torn, shattered.

Whats wrong with my life, I wonder.

Didnt take me long to realise the answer.

Perhaps, I'm just too lousy at saying 'no'?


Am I really just supposed to be a robot? Listening to their EVERY command?

Maybe I just give up too easily, and give in to everyone's demands and everything.

But I really dont know what to do anymore.

Should I just throw in the towel and walk away?

However, like someone told me, its just 2 years.

So I will bear with it, and give in to their

insatiable

demands.

I have never felt so brought down, so sad, angry, and filled with hatred in my life.

So much, I couldnt even stop myself from shaking.

And seriously, at that point and moment in time, I really wanted to go to the kitchen,

grab a knife and stab someone.

Stab and stab, and rid his or her body of all the blood, all the significance of life.

But then again, I think to myself.

Why am I thinking this way? Whats happening to me?

Am I turning into some mental whacko? Some unstoppable monster on a rampage?

And I'm really sorry Claire, for all those really crazy texts. I couldnt control myself at all.

Laughing to myself like everything's a sick-ass game, like I'm on cloud nine.


What should I do?

I really dont know anymore.

Everything seems like a possible risk, a possible way to die.

Oh Lord, are these really the many challenges you're giving me?

I dont want to hurt anymore people.

I dont want to get anyone else affected.

I'm not worth it.

Am I ever gonna learn to fly?

I think hard, but the answer seems obvious.

I can try.





tell me all your thoughts of God.

JORDAN
Is bored.
Wants to achieve more.
Wants chocolates.
Wants more chocolates.
Wishes, for something impossible.
Is asking for nothing more because he's contented with his current life, except, to know more about God and His Way.


Ai Hui.
Amanda Soh.
Belicia.
Celina.
Cheng Howe.
Cheryl Tay.
Claire.
Clara.
Darren Goh.
Ding Liang.
Elvyin.
Erica.
Gamaliel.
Germaine GERM.
Harry.
Hwee Teng.
Hui Ting.
Jaw Kien Ann.
Jervis.
Jing Hui.
Jingru.
JJ Economics.
Jonny.
Jun Cen.
Lecia.
Louisa Tan.
Louise.
Mel.
Ming Shuang.
Miss Chow.
Nuan Qi.
Rosslynn.
Sara.
Thalia.
Wai Ping.
Wei Kok.
Weileng.
Xing Yi.
Yeok Rui.
Yi Hua.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009



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