Wednesday, April 29, 2009 @1:21 AM
Why do you have to care so much to the extent that you have to bleed for me.Now your blood lies on my hands, for I've indirectly caused you to act out your foolishness.I promise you alright, that I'll try, I'll give my best.But please, don't ask me to discover the truth, I cant take it, really I cant.This situation that's here, its going to be extremely hard for me, and even if I get well, there is a high possibility that I fall back into what I'm currently having.So what do you want me to do?Yes, I promised you to try my best, but at what expense?To get well, and get hurt all over again by my life?I don't know what to do, but its a promise, and I wish to help myself too.Perhaps when I get well, I'll view things in a much more positive way, and I'll learn to treasure what I still have in my life.For someone like me to try and adapt a positive attitude, given this situation, I'm at a loss for words.And with the knowledge of what you did to yourself due to my actions, I hate myself even more.Like, why the fuck am I in this world for.To continue what I'm doing right now?I'm totally unhappy with my life, but who am I to complain?There are so many others who have much more difficult lives than me, yet they're not complaining.Whats the matter with me, why am I so damn effing weak?Sensitive? But being fucking overly-sensitive is a good thing?I don't know the path that leads on ahead of me.Ever step I take, my vision seems to get darker and darker.My legs seem to give way, and should I fall to the ground, what am I to do?I've fallen for countless times, and for these countless times, I've picked myself up.However, the bruises, the scars, still remain etched in my heart, tucked away neatly in the storage space, 'emotional distress', in my heart.Am I becoming some freak show?I need to have personal growth.Perhaps I'm always at loggerheads with myself.Things are totally different now.I need to act my age.I need to give it a shot, no matter how tough it is.i promised 
